I went into a patient’s room last night to check something in the bathroom. I flicked the light on and lo and behold there was something on the sink! Initially I thought it was a spider, and knowing my dis-affection for those, I let out a muffled “oooh!”. (I looked closer and found out that in fact it wasn’t a spider and I had nothing to fear…or so I thought) I tried not to sound too caught off guard with my “oooh!”, but the patient evidently heard me and asked me if everything was ok. Me being me I said, “yeah, it’s just a bug”. At that word, her eyes just about “bugged” (sorry for the pun!) out of her head…oops! So, smart me said, “I’m going to go find something to kill it with.” So, I turned off the light in the bathroom and shut the door tight. As I was leaving, I glanced at the patient and her face was like – “You’re gonna leave me in here with a bug?!?” Well, I did and I came back with a nurse because I couldn’t find anything to kill it with and plus she thought that environmental services should see it. So, our next order of business was to catch it. We got two styrofoam cups and some tape and back into the bathroom it was! I jumped right in cause my only dislike is for spiders. I would conquer this! It was really a funny site (me with two styrofoam cups trying to catch this “thing”. Well, after much work and little to show for it, the ‘bug’ finally crawled onto the outside of one of the cups. And here, Lorri (the nurse) starts interjecting, “ooh! Watch out! Don’t let it get you! Stay away from me!!” Well, with her outburst I flung the cup in my hand to shake the bug off (cause it was about to quickly crawl onto my hand) and well, maybe you can guess what happened… Right onto Lorri it went… and she screamed like a little girl, “kick it off me!!! EWWW! Get it off!!!” and she was jumping around doing some sort of dance that hasn’t been invented yet. Now, you need to picture this in your head. Lorri is probably close to six feet and she is big boned – she is big (at least a lot bigger than my five foot three and a half self) and to see her scream and jump around like such was quite a scene! So, I brushed the bug off of her and it landed on the floor. Ah, now we could catch it for real… so we did. Keep in mind, all of this was in front of the poor freaked out patient! (I’m sure there is something written about that kind of conduct in the hospital’s code of conduct for employees booklet…) Well, anyway, we left the room, taped the sucker out of those styrofoam cups (Lorri did the taping), gave the cups with our ‘gem’ in it to environmental services (who were conveniently on the floor), and then we proceeded to laugh hysterically for several minutes and tell our story to the rest of the staff!! Maybe you had to be there, but I thought it was funny and I am still picturing it in my head.

Here we are at the end of the story. But, what, you say, was the bug. Let me tell you and then I will show you. It was huge (maybe 3 inches long not including the antennae), brown, with wings, and hairy legs. It had antennae that were about 1.5-2 inches long and it was elusive. It was a ROACH!! And he/she looked a lot like this:

(photo not to actual size)

How did it get into the bathroom? Hmmm…we are still wondering that. Furthermore, we wonder how many more we shall find…? Poor Lorri.